Mr Mascellani's Musings

Original

He holds her up as she spews beer and pizza
onto his brand new rug.
Her vomit flows out like a thick,
chunky vegetable porridge.
He gently rubs her back
but really he wants to slam her head against a wall.

Outside, his dogs bark
and children set mailboxes on fire.

Spewing Girl's boyfriend is dead drunk
asleep on the lounge.
She, SG, is not a pretty girl.
She stops spewing and apologizes,
staggers out the front door,
and collapses on the front lawn
where the stars look down at her knickers.

Back inside, when her boyfriend awakes
he begins to pontificate postulations on Plato.

Rewrite 1

I hold her up
as she spews tequila and pizza
onto my brand new rug.

Outside:

Stars shine,
dogs bark,
owls hoot,
kids set mailboxes on fire,
and a cat as fat as a hippopotamus
eats a teeny, weeny, scrawny mouse.

Eek! Eek! Eek!

She finishes her vile liquid laughter,
apologizes, then staggers out the front door,
and collapses on the lawn
where, the stars,
the dogs,
the owls,
the kids,
the fat cat,
and I
look at her knickers.

She seemed so nice
online, in the chatroom.

Rewrite 2. New Title: Blind Date

I hold Lucy up
as she spews beer and pizza
onto my brand new rug.

Outside:
Stars shine,
dogs bark,
owls hoot,
kids set mailboxes on fire,
and a cat as fat as a hippopotamus
eats a teeny, weeny, scrawny mouse.

Eek! Eek! Eek!

She finishes her vile liquid laughter,
apologizes, then staggers out the front door,
and collapses on the lawn
where, the stars,
the dogs,
the owls,
the kids,
the fat cat,
and I
look at her knickers.

She seemed so nice on the phone.